I don’t see anything. It’s not there. It’s dark. It’s light. Whatever makes it hard to see.
I cannot hear. The sounds are muffled in my ears. The noises I do hear are deafening.
I ache. Points of pressure have distracted me, and the cords of my back feel as if they have been tightened into a vise.
My fingers stumble across the keys, missing the notes and creating discord. Hurting my throat as I attempt to keep up. What is to be there when I cannot feel it with my body.
It is a chasm. Gaping open and inviting me to fall.
To fall deep into the darkness.
Missing my step and my family.
Wanting to grow closer but not being able to see out of my closet.
Where do I go to find you?
I am searching but I do not see you.
You are hidden.
I am hiding so that I cannot find you.
If I find you then I will owe you a faithful life.
And you ask for a whole life. One which I am not prepared to give to you. Where are you going to surprise me next? How are you going to let me be yours? It will not work. My way will not work.
I am almost ready to try your way, but only because I am so exhausted.
Maybe you will provide me Peace.