A Prayer

My Heart’s Desire.

Is in the Lord.
I am a part of you. Make my heart your own.

He lives in you.
I desire to trust. I desire to endure.
I desire to go curl up in a ball and sleep forever.

Crushed.
Silenced.
Taken away.

Hear me…
Listen:

And nothing comes out.
I am too lost. I cannot find it. I cannot see it. I cannot go.
I cannot.

I want to make peace.
I want peace to be made.
I don’t want to have to do the hard parts.
I don’t want to do it alone.
I can’t.
Do it.
Alone.

My heart has a mind of it’s own. It hears different things than I do. It feels more than I do. It is sensitive to the cares of others when I really don’t have time, thank you very much.

Give me this joy. Let me be here. Let me delight in you.
I want to feel that joy that comes in the morning light.
But instead I am caught in the mourning of the doves.

Release me. Let me see a new light.

Hold me fast in you.
Be strong. I cannot be.
I am weak. I cannot hold here any longer.
My hands are weak. My feet are sore. My legs are tired. My heart is weary.

Put me in your strength. Let me live in you. I am yours.
Put me to work. Occupy my mind.
Distract and focus me. Let me see the world through your eyes.

Guide me in your truth. Hide me in your heart.

Let my heart only desire the things you desire. Let me trust you. Let me find rest. Let me follow your will. Do not let me be my own, but yours only.

You: Guide me.
You: Hold me.
You: Keep me.
You: Take me.
You: Direct me.
You: keep me from telling you what to do.

You are king. You are ruler. You are guide. You are wise. You are above all else. You are the only one who wants me to be the true best I can be. Without you, I cannot do it. Without you I am nothing. Keep me from thinking I am. Keep me from believing I have any of the answers, apart from you.

O God. I cry to you in my brokenness. Use these broken pieces to make an image that reflects you. Out of this shattered illusion, make me what you will. Let this heart be your own. Let this falleness be what allows me to rise in you.
You rose. You led ahead. Your heart broke for us. Mend what we cannot fix ourselves, and make us new again. In your image, as your heart desires.

“Lord, listen to your children praying.
Lord, let your people see your face.
Lord, Listen to your children praying,
Give us hope, give us power give us grace.”

Give us the grace to see you and what your heart desires. Make what we have done to break your heart be taken, break our hearts, and allow us to hurt like you. And as we are broken, as we are filled with tears of condemnation and guilt, mend us. Grace us with your healing, molding, creative hand. Show yourself to us like you want us to see. Let us look on others as brothers and sisters, not as strangers or aliens. Knit our hearts together. Unify us in you. Reconcile our differences. Restore our relationships with others. Inspire us to see a deeper relationship with each fellow sojourner on the path to you. Dwell in us. Deliver us. Make our hearts your desire.

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