I missed breakfast today. Again. It happens, I didn’t want to get out of bed, all I wanted to do this morning was sleep and so the extra five minutes in bed took away my chance to carry something besides a snack out the door.
I was sleeping late, not because of laziness, but because I felt a cold coming on yesterday, and I got nine hours of sleep, but the need to keep turning over and feeling restlessly frustrated between my sheets kept me from solace.
Late really doesn’t describe it, I still was early to work at eight o’clock, or at least on time and before the other student who works with me. It’s not a competition, but I wasn’t late.
I’ve been late. I don’t like it. People really shouldn’t be around me when I think I’m late, even if the reality is that I am not actually late. It is all in my mind.
And now, to get well. Because, in case you hadn’t noticed, it is my final semester, and I want to do it ALL right. I want to read everything, and study and be prepared. For everything.
Everything? Of course, everything, shouldn’t all eventualities be met and prepared for?
Well. I suppose I may have to begin by eating breakfast. But it gets hard, I want to get out and going and not be late, and still spend time resting and relaxing so that I don’t have to hurry but I want to sleep late and so I can’t.
If I could do this. If I could rest, then I would have less stress. I would have less bearing down on me and I would be able to breathe. Maybe I would get over this cold I’ve been carrying for two months. Unfortunately that is not hyperbole, I came down with a cold before thanksgiving, and all the stress in my life, that I really have inflicted on my own being has kept me from healing the way that I would like to be able to.
So. Beginning this semester, I will seek to be more healthy. I am introducing health into my life. Health of body. Health of mind. Health of spirit. Health of relationship. Health of Life.
We’ll see how it goes, I have many things to do, many things to study, many things to plan. Things which will allow other new things to be introduced into my life.
Meet the new me. She is much like the old me, and right now you really cannot tell the difference, we are one and the same, but the new difference is that she continues to change. She continues to learn and with that learning comes ways of knowing how to take better care of herself. It takes a bit of knowing one’s self to be able to do that. Here’s to introspection, and knowing how to look inside and seeing what is there.
Here’s to breakfast.