And so this turning, how does it happen? The seasons change and new things happen. I cannot wait for the seasons to change again, because then spring will be here, I won’t have to wear socks every single day, and then I will be that much closer to being married.
And this. This season of preparation.
This Lent not only will I be preparing myself for the coming and celebration of the resurrection of the Christ, but I will also be preparing for a new identity. Not only will I be changing my name, but I will be changing who my family is. I am excited to do this turn, but I have to take my time, there is a season of waiting beforehand.
And I don’t want to rush it. I need this time to grow and stretch and find my voice and continue to grow as an individual. Which, by the way, is what I intend to continue to do. I intend to grow and deepen and stretch as an individual, but more importantly, one that can grow and deepen and stretch with another alongside. That is what I am looking forward to.
Now I am planting the seeds of the life that is to come. I cannot wait to see how they will grow and develop in the time to come. What an exciting time, that I can find a way to see what is going on here and now and I get to explore all the new things to come.
What an embrace that will be. The first one as a couple covenanted to each other, an embrace in which we hold all our promises, and all that we hope to give each other. An embrace of honesty, where we know that we will be a part of the sinful world and not be able to keep all our promises, but still living in the promise of the covenant, that we will return and forgive and live and build each other up.
Returning to the promise that God gives us. We promise to live with each other, to sit in silence and laughter. We will promise to knit our lives together and yet serve God as uniquely as God loves each of us. God will heal us, and we will heal each other with the love that we share. Mourning will come, but dancing is promised!
It is without a doubt the scariest thing that I have gotten myself into. What kind of person trusts that much?!? How does that even happen. How do we know?
That is why I am trusting God. I am trusting God to lend strength when I am weak and when I don’t see what is going on. When I don’t understand, God will grant me a clear mind, and help me see the way through. That is the promise that I can live in.
As we build each other up, we will be building up the Body of Christ. But I do not intend to keep that much pressure in my mind when we have arguments. Out of our struggle will come greater peace. Some things will take tearing away so that the clean foundation can be found again. Down in our roots will the strength of God water us and help us grow together. It is a time when the flourishing flowers of grace will fill the world with a beautiful scent.
Everything that is good in us I want to point back to God. God is the source of what is good, and God grants us the gift of goodness in the midst of our lives. And the seasons turn.