Enough! I’ve had it. I can’t take any more.
Enough. There is enough for you and me to share.
Enough. That’s good enough, it will get me through to the next step.
Often, I find that I am working out of a narrative of scarcity. I do not have enough for myself, and so rarely have anything left over to share with anyone. This is not a healthy narrative to have. But what can I do in the midst of it? How do I move from a time and place and experience of scarcity, of having enough to scrape by, to a opening of enough.
Enough is a word of grace. Indeed, there is enough for you and for me, and there is enough to share. But I find it hard to share that grace of enough when I do not receive enough grace for myself. Especially when I do not allow myself enough grace.
I am always conscious of how I could have done more, given more, shared more, prayed more, written more, preached more, cooked more, walked more, I just had more to do. I do have limits, and I am forgetful of how often those limits have been met, and often crashed into. I’m not talking about going outside of my comfort zone, I do that as a weekly, sometimes daily exercise. No I’m talking about my breaking limit. Where I will run because I feel I need to, and I will run until I pass out and collapse. When I feel that there is not enough of me to go around, I keep stretching myself thinner, so that maybe everyone who asks something of me will feel that I have responded appropriately to their need.
It’s an exercise in futility. That’s what it is. There is literally not enough of me for all of this.
How do I take the narrative of enough from one of subsistence, to one of grace and freedom?
I’m not sure, but it might look something like this.
Enough. There is enough of God’s grace to share with those around me. There is enough of God’s love flowing through me, comforting me, and allowing me to comfort others. There is enough time in the day for me to live, and breathe, and I will rest my being in the one who helps me dance in this calling. There is enough of me, that I will share and be able to extend grace to those who cannot find enough grace in their hearts.
And then, when I have given all that I can give, and done all that I can do, God will take my offering, and call it good. And enough.
God does not desire for us to live out of a narrative of scarcity. God encourages us to live out of a narrative of enough, of what we have been given is enough to live on, and that we can share and extend out of our enough so that others might have enough.
I have been given so many gifts and love and compassion, that I can also give out of all the love that has been extended to me. Love is lived into when it is shared and given away, with no expectation of receiving anything back. We share our love with those around us, with our neighbors, both near and far, and we look forward to the day when our faith will be sight. When we will no longer be concerned with enough, because the God of abundance has poured love on us.