I wrote this on October 26, 2016, and while I intended to post it earlier, life happened: my daughter woke up and I never got back to it. What I say remains the same.
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I’m kinda ready for it to be advent now. I feel I need something to prepare for. A season to enter. Fall has been a good change of pace, a season to decorate for, a holiday to celebrate as I piece together my family’s halloween costumes and prepare to be generous with our neighbors.
I’m also preparing to purchase a car… as soon as the class action gets finalized, and so I’m having to make decisions about make and model and trim lines and years and what we choose to spend. And though those decisions will have an impact for years, I still feel I am missing something.
I am liturgically unmoored. Drifting, even. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve been in a place where the liturgy and the liturgical year was deeply part of the rhythm of worship. And maybe it was not as deep a part of the life of the churches I was serving as it was important to me as I planned and led worship, but as the primary worship planer and leader, the liturgical year was the touchstone and guide that led all other decisions. The liturgical year set the tone and the theme of my weeks and days. It was the baseline of my values.
I have a new baseline now. basically, am I doing what I need to do for my daughter. Perhaps I am yearning for something that is set a little more holy. Not that caring for my daughter and family is not work to which I am called, rather, that I feel that I could be doing something additional to see my work through an intentional lens, to a more whole and holy work.
And so I want Advent to be here. In part because it is a season that I observe no matter what. I always celebrate it. Even in years where I don’t really attend to Lent, I celebrate Advent. In part because it leads up to my favorite day of the year, Christmas Eve. And then in part because Advent stands as a light in the midst of the gathering darkness. Celebrating Advent tells the darkness that there is light that is going to shine anyway. It’s a time when we prepare to welcome the light of the world into our homes. So I may be starting advent a month early. We all need some extra light.