Exactly…

I need you to be ok with me exactly as I am. I’m not going to radically change in the next five minutes, so who I am is who you have to deal with.

This is me: all my faults, past mistakes, recent failures, tears I’ve shed and held back.

This is me: celebrations, dances, joys, cheerful memories, laughs I’ve shared and contained.

This is me.

Do you see me? Do you see my scars? Do you see my healing?

Do you see me limping or skipping? Your perception is based on interpretation anyway.

Do you see how far I’ve grown and how far I have come from that one time we know about? (Or those six times?)

Do you see what I could be? Where I could go? What I could do?

And if you do, are you only going to accept me once I get there—wherever there is—or can we work at accepting each other right now, in this moment?

I’m working at meeting you exactly where you are, right now.

I’m learning to accept you exactly as you are, right now.

I’m living into loving exactly who you are, right now.

I don’t know what the future has in store for us, but if we see each other as we really are, right now, I imagine that our future together will be all the brighter.

We will have hidden less from each other.

I want to hide less from you. But I don’t always know if you would accept me for who I am, who I really am, when the bright lights shine and all our masks are shattered.

I want to be exactly me when I am with you. No pretend, no pretense, no pretension. No make believe, no deception, no grand claims.

Only me. Scars, hopes, and all.

Only you. Scars, hopes, and all.

If we see each other for who we are, exactly as we are right now, we see truth.

I love truth.

 

I wrote this reflection as a response to my thoughts engaged with this poem.

Advertisements

Complex

Everything is far more complex than it appears.

There are deeper soundings than what meet the eye.

Lights are hidden deep in the expanse of space,

and burning suns become points of light.

My vision clouds and all becomes blurred,

light encompasses me but I lose myself in the darkness.

Moving through the world by touch alone,

the elephant becomes a pillar and the eagle becomes a quivering feather duster.

Touch tells you what you feel.

Sight tells you what you see.

But there is more to hear and smell and taste and understand.

More complex than our senses can describe,

the world opens to deeper revelations and secrets.

How do we discover the beauty of the world around us?

How do we see past the pain and suffering to find any joy whatsoever?

Everyone is hurting more than you know,

but hope delivers itself in strange ways.

Healing is more complex than we can imagine.

Hope finds us in darkness and in despair.

The Spirit overcomes suffering and opens our hearts to beauty.

When we see through the eyes of God,

we discover a world of wondrous creation.

Creation is far more complex than it appears.

Relieve: A Prayer

O God, guide my strength into your own.
I want you to relieve all my pain, all my doubt, all my grief; your Word enters into life to relieve us, but the pain continues. The tension of good and evil, the tension of sacred and secular, the tension of joy and sorrow come close to breaking my spirit.
Find my heart and relieve it.
But more than actions benefiting only my wants and needs, move to relieve the pain and suffering of those in my community, and in our world. My sighs are the sign of my sorrow for your people. Move in the world, move in me to do your work. Relieve the fears of those around me, that they may re-live your glory and majesty. O God, you are mighty and yet you consider things so small as lilies and sparrows.
Guide us to seek the day when your kingdom will relieve us, that we might all live in your love and glory. In the name of the healer and Lord who came as a tiny baby, Jesus Christ Emmanuel. Amen.

New Song

The Cathedral rises in the plain.

Open echoing spaces.

Light scattered across slate floors

catching flecks of dust dancing unawares.

Windows exhibit brazen colors

unashamed among greys of buttresses.

Incense rises among priests shrouded in smoke.

A voice rises in the quiet:

    Come and sing a new song.

A new song? What kind of song?

How will we sing? Why should we sing anyway?

What is the point?

    Sing a new song to the Lord.

How will we find a new song? Who will inspire us?

How will we be able to sing in the midst of all the death and terror all around?

    Sing a new song of the wonders God’s done.

Wonders? Can there be wonders still? Perhaps there can.

Perhaps God can still work wonders even in the midst of this.

    Come and sing a new song.

She repeats the words over and over. Always the same ones, singing of new songs and wonders. It is as if she knows that there must be wonders, but they haven’t evidenced themselves yet. Can there be wonders, good wonders of God in the midst of the terror that surrounds us?

In God there is no darkness at all, but this world hides secrets in each shadow. Can there be any new wonder, any hope that we seek?

The open space oppresses like a funeral pall.

But the song still echoes through the shadows. New songs, songs of hope and trust of wonderful things that God has done, and promises still to do. Hope stands here in the midst of the shadows. Doubt threatens to overtake it, but the light of hope shines through the darkness.

The cathedral shines with a beam of sunshine, spotlighting the singer. She repeats the verse once more.

    Come and sing a new song.
    Sing a new song to the Lord.
    Sing a new song of the wonders God’s done.
    Come and sing a new song.

When she finishes her song, her face lights up with the hope that springs from the song itself. The song was inspired by God, source of all wonders.

I wrote this Taize style hymn in march. YouTube link of melody coming soon. 

Ethereal Light

Walking
Through the ethereal light
The trees hold secrets between them.
The darkness in the forest invites
Creativity, mystery, mischief.
New streams have wound their way
Through the forest and the fields
And hide new playgrounds for the bullfrogs.
The recent rain spatters on the path.
Secret quiet green journey.
Clouds pass by above, alternating
The dark and light of the setting sun.
This voyage began long ago
And it will not end for a long while hence.
In the meantime, the ethereal light
Glows.

20130713-222150.jpg